The Secret News - by George Carlin
- Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the secret news.
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- Sshhhh.
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- Here’s the secret news:
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- All people are afraid.
- No one knows what they’re doing.
- Everything is getting worse.
- Some people deserve to die.
- Your money is worthless.
- No one is properly dressed.
- At least one of your children will disappoint you.
- The system is rigged.
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- Your house will never be completely clean.
- All teachers are incompetent.
- There are people who really dislike you.
- Nothing is as good as it seems.
- Things don’t last.
- No one is paying attention.
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- The country is dying.
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- God doesn’t care.
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- Sshhhhhh.....
